August 05, 2008 and July 10, 2011 are the two dates I will always remember. These are the ends of a string I keep inside my pocket. I discreetly hold on to it as if it’s strong enough to [...]]]>

August 05, 2008 and July 10, 2011 are the two dates I will always remember. These are the ends of a string I keep inside my pocket. I discreetly hold on to it as if it’s strong enough to stop me from visiting Perplex City and driven enough to push me towards the borders of Vivacious Ville (this “place” sounds funny). Anyway, I tied this piece of string around my finger so that I’ll always remember–think of it as a mini memorial. For growth’s sake, I need to think that this piece of string is not an elfin effigy. It’s just, after all, an ephemera. COME ON, ALPS AGUADO, stop this teenage drama. This is just a stupid heartache. Throw it away.

Recovery

The road to recovery from a stupid heartache should be easy. If you’re an intelligent person whose emotions cannot tangle with your objective stream of logical thoughts, then forgetting something or someone is just a piece of bubblegum. Humans have differentiated the heart from the brain as if they are the church and the state (respectively). The liberal, free-thinking human cannot unwelcome emotions even if he or she has the ability to isolate them–and I’m not an exception. Thank God for distractions for helping His children to be distracted and for being the biggest form of distraction. Aside from pulling power from the Omnipotent, I renewed my running routines. I used to be fit, you know.

Jogging Path

This is where I jog regularly. Don’t even dare to stalk me because you can’t chase me. Not. Doing six laps per session will give me a 4.5 km accomplishment. I have to make that 5 km per session soon. Many people jog here because of the pleasant environment (hence the name Pleasant Drive). This place is near the Research Institute of Tropical Medicine and Asian Hospital at Alabang. When I see those medical institutions while I jog, I am further inspired to do this run for my health, haha. On the other hand, I think of you while I’m doing my death march. This gives me the boost I need and, not to mention, the refusal pill against recovery.

How do you get romantically inspired by someone who can’t be with you? I don’t know. But hey, thanks anyway–for inspiring me.

Clock

My mom bought a new clock for our living room. It looks nice and classic and has that medieval appeal.

Medieval & Almost-Scary Clock

During its first few weeks of installation, I tend to be scared when I look at it during the wee hours of the morning. I do my homework in our living room so that I can watch TV but this clock forced me to transfer. Those Roman Numerals are scary. Those gold-plated hands are scary. Those curls are scary. Dude, this clock is scary. Go on, Clock, scare me–because your Time, although scarier in theory, can’t scare me.

Pens

Black, Red and Blue are the colors I always carry with me. I have been using a Trio since High School because I’m colorful like that.

Red, Black & Blue

When I started my professional career, I neglected Blue and Red already. My planners and work-related notepads and notebooks are filled with black doodles–nothing more. I guess I’m less-colorful now or I’m just getting old. On the rainbow side of the sky, my ability to understand my notes without the eye-candy help of Red and Blue deserves a praise. Professional life is black and white. There might be gray areas–but they are just  a mixture of black and white anyway.

I’ll choose “okay” if I only have two choices for illustrating what I feel. There might be gray areas–but they are just a mixture of happiness and sadness anyway. Generally, I’m okay. This week is exciting in many ways. I can see a difficult U-turn, sexy pedestrians (keep your eyes on the road, mister) and a crazy traffic enforcer. Wish me a safe trip.

Hey, it’s the end of the road but you’ll always be my…

Each episode of The Triumvirate Series is a collection of three random yet significant things that either recently took my attention or deserve to be shared to the intrested public. This is my own, novel way of writing a journal, breaking the ice and breathing fresh air here at my online abode. You can read the original rationale here or the renewed version here.

Maggots are eating my emotional cheese right now but it’s business as usual here at my online quarters. While I’m waiting to recover from this heartbreak vexation and for a stronger-scented emotional cheese delicatessen, I shall spill [...]]]>

Maggots are eating my emotional cheese right now but it’s business as usual here at my online quarters. While I’m waiting to recover from this heartbreak vexation and for a stronger-scented emotional cheese delicatessen, I shall spill my excess energy into my professional pail. For this blog entry, I want to talk about “accountability” and how such concept became a business buzzing bee whenever I am working and how it needs to be homogeneous in a specific bureaucratic level.  

Baptism of Wildfire

Those who know me personally and/or those who took some time reading few of my recent entries are aware of the first career stint I had. I’m not really sure if I can discuss my job responsibilities and our corporate structure here but there is one thing I can say in public: I have many responsibilities and people who I am accountable for. Quite heavy stint for an “entry level position”, I can say. I remember my 27-year-old boss telling me: “If you want power at an early age, then this company can give you that carnivore desire.” In my case, I do not really aim for a carnivore, autocratic type of power though I admit that I want to influence and lead people. Apparently, my boss and I were on the same page. I knew it. Influence and leadership in an aggressive and competitive industry will always pertain to authoritative power or to any aspect of it. “Assertive democratic” can be a term of compromise, I guess.

One of my teams. Find me.

The First Strum of Boss Guitar

After a few weeks of working, I realized that asserting your power is mandatory as if you are paid solely on the basis of doing such. I was a 21 year old boy. And I was the bossing of many (older) people. Yes, you can be cocky about it and I am. But that cockiness should extend to being responsible and accountable. When I handled my first project, I internally panicked because of the number of people I need to lead. Wow, I really am a pack leader. I admit, my first project was not perfect. I discussed the post-mortem to my boss and, although I sounded professional, he knew how juvenile my analyses were.

Pointing Fingers

After I discussed the results with him, I began ranting about the glitches in the system and, to some extent, the inefficiencies of the people I handled.

Stop right there, he said to me. If you don’t want your people, then fire them and search for better people who can replace them. If you don’t want the system, then fix it yourself. I just want the results. If you are talking to me, then I don’t know your people already. At this point, you are your people.

I stared at him for only two seconds but it was the longest stare and psychological digestion I had in my life. Gone are the days where I can easily report an uncooperative group mate to my professor and even feel good about it. Gone are the days where I can just blame other people or any external force at that in ruining something because it is logical and justified to do so. Gone are the days where you can just argue about the inevitability of loopholes, about the unavoidable clumsy circumstances and, yes, even about the bad weather. There are things that are really out of your control, we all know. But are they really out of your control?  The famous Serenity Prayer has always been helpful.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

Level 5 Leadership

The concepts of accountability and leadership reminded me of Jim Collins, author of the books Built to Last and Good to Great (which I should read soon). I read a summary last year for one of the conferences I attended. According to Collins, a Level 5 Leader (the highest type; think of him or her as a self-actualized leader) is both modest and accountable.

Level 5 leaders look out the window to attribute success to factors other than themselves. When things to poorly, they look in the mirror and blame themselves, taking full responsibility.

You are just as good as your people.

Miguel, my boss continued, I do the same when I talk to my boss. I don’t talk about you and your colleagues. I talk about myself in behalf of the whole team. Remember this, you are just as good as your people.

That incident was one of the most significant professional awakenings I had. Yes, I know that a leader must speak in behalf of its people. I know that a leader must be responsible and accountable. I know all those yada yada yada and cliches about leadership. What I didn’t know is how hard it is to be a leader in a professional and competitive setting (Theory vs Practice, eh?). What I didn’t know is how hard it is to do magic. Magic, after all, is just a form of reality that has the ability to constantly rekindle our sense of awe (Aguado, 2011). Magic happens when you have the courage to change the things you can change and when you have the wisdom to know that these things can be changed. Alps, you have to stand with only two legs. You have to stand because a hundred more need to. You have to stand because a hundred more need you. You have to stand because a hundred more believe that it is your cup of brew.

I rarely expose my emotional nudity to the public or through this blog. If you know me personally, I don’t really share problems over spilled beer except for the few instances that I cannot longer fit my powdered emotions [...]]]>

I rarely expose my emotional nudity to the public or through this blog. If you know me personally, I don’t really share problems over spilled beer except for the few instances that I cannot longer fit my powdered emotions in my state of mind capsule. This post may be Tumblr-ish or may be a form of a long Twitter Blabber–but I don’t care. These are the few moments in my life that I play an extreme sport on my slippery through and I’m willing to have a public exhibition. John Maxwell even said that in order to credible, you have to show your weakness. Quite ironic, but I’m not doing this for credibility’s sake but for the passion of emotional writing.

June 10, 2011. Amidst the excitement and inspiration exuded by the NBA Finals, I was suffering personal and technical fouls inside my emotional hardcourt (LOL, yeah, those are basketball metaphors). Anyway, the problem is, I’m in a one-man game. I felt violated–but a realization told me that I was, apparently, the violator. One-man game, Alps, one-man game.

Asking “what if?” is not only for formulating a Plan B but also for crying over what-could-have-beens.

Too many shrapnel shells inside me but I choose not to explode. So, please, don’t let your lovely flame flirt with my sensitive wick.

I can’t freeze time but I think I can freeze myself. I hope you can find me so I can melt adorably. Last na, last na talaga. Bye.

Those are my emotions in 140 characters or less. Now, my question is, how do you manage an emotion that is so painful only to realize that you were really the one who is killing yourself? Is that kind of realization another form of pain? If it is, how do you manage it if it shouldn’t be a problem in the first place? How do you accuse someone of murder if, apparently, you are really committing suicide?

Why am I mourning on the loss of someone if consanguinity or affinity dictates that I don’t have any right to do so?

Why am I crying over spilled milk that was never mine, is not mine and, more likely, will never be mine?

Why?

I’m currently searching for an answer. While I’m doing this journey, I decided to dig my memory box. HAHA. Call me queer, but I actually preserve all the things that merit eternal glory. I could pull an inspiration from it anytime. Actually, I already stopped “collecting” memories because, err, I think I’m getting old–but I’ll start to get fresh ones soon. Those memories include written letters from all the girls I loved before. Chos.

Reading them made me laugh and giggle. Reading them made me wonder why the 15-year-old-me and my 15-year-old affairs take life and love seriously. Wow, even tweeners can become this gaga about love. Then I said to myself, after five years or so, I’ll just laugh at the issue I just shared.

After more digging, I found things that made me smile:

My first Beauty King title sash! Haha.

And, of course, my second Beauty King title. HAHAHA. The next title I should have is a Bikini Open title. I’m so serious.

My favorite sash is my Mr. Perfect sash. Haha. It started as a ridicule during my third year in high school. The one who started such ridicule crowned herself as Ms. Perfect! James/Jobel, a.k.a. Ms. Perfect, I miss you!

There were some things that surprised me, including these:

Haha! The youngster me keeps his bad ol’ porn inside his memory box. They are safe there because I prohibited my parental units taking a look at my sacred container. Apparently, the box is not completely sacred. I don’t need these anymore because my hormones are not as crazy as before. Mom, dad, if you are reading this, I’m already 22 years old, K.

I want to have a progress of recovery this weekend so I asked my mom if we could have my favorite hearty meal and red rice for lunch.

Phew, that was a long time out for the hard emotional game I am currently playing. To continue this drama, I started to feel an avalanche of unrelated petty problems. They seem little ones but if you feel all of them all at the same time, the implosion can pierce your surface so you can show them off. The problem is, when I start to feel a major problem, minor ones seem to follow. I’m learning to focus at one problem at a time and placing it in a vacuum so other annoying things won’t meddle with my problem solving process.

Moreover, my emotional struggle lead me to think that I am not getting the liberty I deserve and I should innately have. The 7 Habits told me that the highest form of liberation is innate in humans–but I am still training to maximize its usage.

If I can stretch myself from normalcy to anomaly, then I can fall in love with life again. You see, my heart needs a rebel artery.

Yes, I need a rebel artery. Monotonous heartbeats bore me. A normal blood pressure kills me. I want that heart attack, that cardiac arrest and that hypertension. And, you know what, you’re the only one who can give me those.

You, spilled milk that was not mine, is not mine and, more likely, will never be mine, I still adore your creaminess(?). LOL, metaphor fail again. Anyway, I guess I was just an anonymous bystander who witnessed the spillage. Psychologically, I should not care about it or I should just feel indifferent. But you were a different case, special spilled milk. I believe there’s something in me that makes me cry over you, there’s something in your spillage that directly hits home. Yes, I was just a stranger. I blame myself because I was just a stranger. But I hope you know that in that very short moment of spillage, I felt that we knew each other for a long time. After the shock, I promised to become a stranger again and walk away. That’s what I promised.

You, spilled milk, if you are looking for clues, you came to the right place. I’m here. And I’m that stranger you don’t know how to approach. You should know me by now. I just want you to know that I cared even if I was just a stranger.

At this point in time, I know you are enjoying your newly-refilled glass. As for me, I’m still wondering if mine is half empty or half full. While we live separate milky night caps, I just want to tell you that I love(d) you. Cheers.

Intelligent people are impatient. They know that they have the ability to solve problems faster than those on the lower part of the Scholastic Pyramid. This notion weakens their heart for creativity because they gambled everything for competition’s sake. The fast [...]]]>

Intelligent people are impatient. They know that they have the ability to solve problems faster than those on the lower part of the Scholastic Pyramid. This notion weakens their heart for creativity because they gambled everything for competition’s sake. The fast paced knowledge industry wants to define the ideal brain persona–someone who is aggressively intelligent and competitive and can inject reflective practice into a reactive society. This isn’t a breed. This isn’t a compromise either. This is how human intelligence should function.

Yes, that’s how I feel right now–the career oxygen I have been inhaling for the past few months blurs the lines between emotion and philosophy. I want to take break by blogging less serious things. Hence, Triumvirate #17.

Atheist

Atheists of the Philippines

This website (which looks like a portal), listed me under the “Atheists of the Philippines” category. Wait, what? I reflected for a minute and tried to think if I am really an atheist, if I made a blog entry renouncing my faith to any god and if I branded my self (and my site at that) as an atheist. I am not. I did not. And I did not. The closest atheist connection I have is my friendship with Benj. But that doesn’t make me an atheist, obviously.

Sun

Solar Powered Light "Rods"

Summer’s here and sun’s the protagonist (more of an antagonist, actually) of the season. It’s about time to take advantage of the scorching heat by using solar powered stuff! For starters, solar powered lights can be bought and used. We installed several of these cheap classics on our garden for a sparkling Tête à Tête during the hot summer nights.

Solar Powered Light "Rods"

Bookmarks

"Meh" Robot Bookmark

When I’m bookmarking a page of the book I am reading, I do not really use a real bookmark. I use pens, highlighters, scissors, tape dispensers, staplers or even another book instead. Then, I see my book pages wrinkle even though they still haven’t reached their I Have Wrinkles age. So, I bought a real one. Meet the “Meh” Robot Bookmark. Quite ironic since most of my reactions when reading a book are “Aha!” and derivatives of “Aha!”. Well, I do some “Meh” reactions too especially to the things that are too trivial or too shallow. Meh.

Okay, I need to go back. But before that, Globe Telecom, please, fix your broken ass.

Give my life back, Globe.

Each episode of The Triumvirate Series is a collection of three random yet significant things that either recently took my attention or deserve to be shared to the intrested public. This is my own, novel way of writing a journal, breaking the ice and breathing fresh air here at my online abode. You can read the original rationale here or the renewed version here.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy offered to us the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. Yes, “42″ is the answer. If the answer to everything is this easy to remember, then humanity can [...]]]>

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy offered to us the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. Yes, “42″ is the answer. If the answer to everything is this easy to remember, then humanity can take advantage of this pocket panacea. However, reality is made or perceived to be complex so carrying just a 42 in our life luggage is useless. The intricate patterns woven on the knowledge society is hard to understand. Explaining it is even harder. Thanks to people like Albert Einstein who believe that everything is simple. And to Albert Gray too. He claimed that he found the common denominator of success.

Success is as easy as "42."

Albert Gray is a life insurance professional who became popular because of his short speech he delivered to life insurance agents. His speech contained the simple key to success. Many life coaches, business trainers or even self-help opinion leaders have their own recipes for success–many of which are too complicated to cook or too weird a delicatessen for some conservative taste buds. Albert Gray’s is a fried egg. Or a poached egg. Or a ready-to-eat raw egg. Here’s his one-step recipe:

The common denominator of success–the secret of success of every man who has ever been successful–lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don’t like to do.

According to him, this is so general and universal, we need to deal with it every single day of our life.

It’s just as true as it sounds and it’s just as simple as it seems. You can hold it up to the light, you can put it to the acid test, and you can kick it around until it’s worn out, but when you are all through with it, it will still be the common denominator of success, whether you like it or not.

Here are some of his interesting claims in his speech:

Hard Work is not the answer. Like Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Gray said that hard work is not the key to success since he know many people who are hardworking but not successful. However, like the Rich Dad, Poor Dad author, Gray said that hard work might be one of the requirements. Considering his Secret to Success logic, it is safe to conclude that unsuccessful hardworking people works hard for the things failures like to do.

We like to do what failures like to do. You might ask the question: What are the things that failures don’t like to do? Unfortunately, Gray did not exemplified such things in his speech because, according to him, they are too obvious to discuss (though he cited two things; see next paragraph). However, he contended that these things are also the things that even successful men like to do–they just also do those things that failures don’t.

Connecting is vital. He said that two of the things that fail life insurance agents do not want to do are “call on people who don’t want to see us and talk to them about something they don’t want to talk about.” This supports John Maxwell’s claim about the importance of connecting with others.

Aim for pleasing results and not for pleasing methods. When we need to get a job done, we want the process to be fast and comfortable enough for us. Voila, you have the perfect recipe for mediocrity. In this generation of instant gratification, pleasing methods are so popular.

Purpose drives people to do unpleasing things. If all of us, successful or a failure, have the similar set of things we do not like to do, then what makes successful people do them anyway? Purpose, my friend. Maxwell’s 7 Habits has a similar advice–habit number 2, begin with the end in mind. Gray and Maxwell, moreover, also told us the importance of building habits.

• Purpose must be practical and not visionary. He explained this advice by telling a story. However, he did not really gave a personal explanation. What I extracted from it is this: A purpose must be something you can attain and must be something that came from your heart.

• Purpose must be emotional and not logical. Gray said that if your purpose is logical (i.e. when it is in the form of needs), once satisfied, it will stop pushing you. However, when it is emotional (i.e. when it is in the form of wants or desires), it will keep pushing you even if your needs are satisfied.

I’m thinking of some examples failures don’t like to do. I think some of the basic ones are these: finishing things early; eating and drinking moderately; aiming for a perfect score; staying away from vices; sleeping 8 hours a day; connecting to people; putting first things first; doing boring clerical, desk jobs (until you can afford a secretary); and keeping promises to self and other people. I believe that most of the things failures don’t like to do are just basic things in life. These basic things, although not always necessary, will build a strong foundation sturdy enough for the more ambitious things we want to do. Well, there are some more not really simple things that failures don’t like to do, and the the list can be endless–especially when considering a particular context. I’m not saying that doing these things will make you a failure. Doing these regularly to the extent that they become personal habits will transform themselves into failure bugs that can infest your life harvest. You want to successful? Stop being a brat. Just do it, bitch.

Download Albert Gray’s The Common Denominator of Success.

My mom accompanied and supported me during my first years in a formal school. From making rainbow loaf sandwiches as a baon to waiting for classes to end at a noisy and oh-so-motherly Parents’ Waiting Area, she made sure that I’ll [...]]]>

My mom accompanied and supported me during my first years in a formal school. From making rainbow loaf sandwiches as a baon to waiting for classes to end at a noisy and oh-so-motherly Parents’ Waiting Area, she made sure that I’ll survive the life outside home and life away from momma. One of best and funny moments I can remember is during a time when we were reviewing for a Math exam. One of the competencies I needed as a preschool student was adding and subtracting numbers with images. For example, one egg plus one egg is? I HAVE THE ANSWER, MOM! Anyway, as my first tutor and teacher, she made a reviewer for me.

When she gave me questionnaire similar to this, I broke into laughter because all I saw were just balls! Apparently, my mom cannot draw something else. Well, maybe she can draw a simple house or a tree but, maybe, she thought that drawing balls would be more practical and convenient. Haha. But thanks to her balls, I am now able to add and subtract. Thanks to her balls, I finished Preschool and Grade School with flying colors. Thanks to her balls, I entered high school as a scholar and graduated from one of the country’s top university. Thanks to her balls, I am now a good, principled man. These things are not for me to brag but things that my mom (and her ability to draw balls, okay enough, haha) can be proud of.

(L-R) Mama, Me, Me, Mama. Haha.

To all mothers out there, I know you got some balls too! Happy Mother’s Day! :)

I just realized that I don’t have any entry for the month of April (my birthday month, btw) so before I begin to scribble on the May 2011 portion of my planner, I guess I have to broadcast quick [...]]]>

I just realized that I don’t have any entry for the month of April (my birthday month, btw) so before I begin to scribble on the May 2011 portion of my planner, I guess I have to broadcast quick updates first. April was a maelstrom of everything nice and bad. My personality engine starts to crank due to a stress aggregate which I can hardly define and illustrate. Thanks to my resiliency, I am able to deal with all the miserable matters in life. For sure, a bigger monster is already on its conception stage–but I guess I’ll be welcoming it with a big grin during its nascency.

Many people are already concerned about my sudden weight gain. At first, I was just dismissing the remarks as if they’re just isolated comments. However, when my size 32 pants refuse to make love with my thighs, hips and waist, I begin to worry–and begin to refuse to buy size 33 pants. One of my friends told me that an ideal male model’s waistline is 32 inches so I’m sticking to it, no matter what. HAH. To stick to it means to start shedding all the things that overflow on my torso.

Keebler

Maybe I can blame Keebler. Keebler, the Chocolate Lovers variant, just became my family’s staple grocery list item.

I think we consume at least two of this pack size every week. Oh no, the cookie jar needs to be empty soon for a sexy reason. My mom, who always seeks for a sexier alternative, recommended me to stick to bland, boring crackers. However, my taste buds want sweet love so I began to munch on Raisin Oatmeal Cookies.

Raisins

Quaker's and Nova's Raisin Oatmeal Cookies

We have been buying Quaker’s for a year now–yes, already a staple like Keebler’s. When we saw Nova’s (a local brand by Jack & Jill), we were intrigued so we tried it as well.

Quaker’s is a harder cookie than Nova’s although the texture of the local brand is reminiscent of a Filipino bread called “Kababayan.” Okay, I’m not sure if the said bread is still available today since the last time I tasted it was a decade ago. It tastes like bread pudding–now that’s a simpler comparison. Nova’s prides itself with more fiber although it is evidently sweeter. The raisins on Nova’s are also bigger–just like those you see (and remove) on your mom’s Menudo and on the neighborhood bakery’s Tasty.

If you want technical nutritional information, here are they:

Quaker’s

Nova’s

Paper

Bawal ang Plastik. Bring Your Own Bag/Bayong.

Muntinlupa City became infamous because of Baranggay Alabang’s directive to make condoms available to horny consumers only with a doctor’s prescription. Don’t worry, I won’t talk about this canonized matter because it’s logic validity, moral uprightness and liberation degree are too obvious to discuss. Anyway, my beloved suburb city is also famous (well, beginning to lean on the infamous side because of people too concerned about labor rights) because of banning plastics in the whole city. Well, not the personality metaphor but I hope it will be a city ordinance soon. Plastics, literally, are now hated by every Muntinlupa Citizen. Lakas, Talino at Buhay, yeah.

In 2010, Muntinlupa City took a huge step forward when Mayor Aldrin San Pedro signed into law Ordinance 101-109 which banned plastic bags and containers made from polysterene and called for environment-friendly substitutes. It sounds like the kind of forward-thinking, metropolitan rule-crafting that constituents would wholeheartedly support. But Muntinlupa has met resistance after it began implementing the ordinance last January. Businesses, large and small, were a source of immediate defiance. An industry group, the Philippine Plastics Industry Association said that the problem wasn’t the plastic; it was the lack of discipline. The Philippine Association of Supermarkets Inc. argued that paper bags were five times more costly than plastic bags.

Well, nobody says implementing laws protecting the environment was going to be easy. But does it really have to be so hard? It might be true that Filipinos need to exercise more discipline with the amount of trash they throw away—plastic bags or otherwise. But that doesn’t make the move to ban plastics any less important. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. In fact, if both could be done, then that would contribute the most serious effort thus far to curbing the serious threat of plastic bags. Instead of brickbats, Muntinlupa deserves a thumbs-up for daring to do what other cities only give lip service to. Now if only the rest of the country can follow the city’s brave example—and rid ourselves of this plastic menace once and for all. (An excerpt from The Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Editorial “The plastic problem” dated April 10, 2011.)

Suddenly, all moms shopping for household goods sport a different kind of receptacle.

Here are my mom’s groceries from Shopwise Alabang. You’ll gain double points (a reward system exclusive to members) every time you use their  branded “bayong.” SaveMore, on the other hand, has a similar program. Saving Mother Earth is now mandatory in the city.

So, those are my three things. Too bad, I didn’t talk about my birthday. Well, it wasn’t that special. No fairy dust and scintillating glitters during my celebration. However, the most special people in my life celebrated with my tiny party so I think that’s enough. And oh, armpit hair is a good gift too. AT LONG LAST.

Birthday Status

Have a Merry May, everyone! :)

Each episode of The Triumvirate Series is a collection of three random yet significant things that either recently took my attention or deserve to be shared to the intrested public. This is my own, novel way of writing a journal, breaking the ice and breathing fresh air here at my online abode. You can read the original rationale here or the renewed version here.

Every time we have a Customer Development Conference, my boss asks me to mingle with higher bosses. He told me that a small talk will do. I understand that this kind of initiative will build my rapport with them [...]]]>

Every time we have a Customer Development Conference, my boss asks me to mingle with higher bosses. He told me that a small talk will do. I understand that this kind of initiative will build my rapport with them and, in the long term, will be a criterion for my professional advancement. However, I believe I took this for granted. In between sessions, I get gallons of tea and several pieces of Sofitel’s Chocolate Pistachio Cookies (the best, btw) and talk with my immediate colleagues instead. After some months of building relationships in the company I work for, I realized how important my boss’s advice to me is. Moreover, reading John Maxwell’s Everyone Communicates, Few Connect nailed that advise to the unassailable forces of modern business principles.

The Bureaucracy of Connecting. A Dilbert Comic Strip.

As a communication major back in college, I am bombarded with the following Speech Communication courses: Communication III, Speech Communication (SpCom); SpCom 136 , Form of Public Address; SpCom 133, Debate and Argumentation; and SpCom 137, Group Discussion and Conference Leadership (You can see BA Organizational Communication’s curriculum here). So after earning an OrCom degree, it is highly expected that I’ll be a performing Organizational Communication professional. However, I feel that my communication prowess still needs improvement or needs a supplement related to my field. All along, I felt I am an above average communicator until I encountered difficulties in the workplace and until I finished reading the said book. This blog entry would summarize the book with my related experiences and/or reactions after each part.

Like Maxwell’s Self Improvement 101, this book is logically divided into two parts: Connecting Principles (theories) and Connecting Practices (applications).

Connecting Principles

1. Connecting increases your influence in every situation.

Maxwell didn’t differentiate communicating from connecting. However, given the title of the book, communicating is a default human activity–everyone communicates. He defined the term “connecting” because he said that such activity is practiced by “few”:

Connecting- the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.

The goal, therefore, is to increase influence through identifying and relating with people. Influence then becomes an important factor to success in any situation. In the context of business and leadership, Harvard Business Review stated:

The number one criterion for advancement and promotion for professionals is the ability to communicate effectively.

Although the term “communication” is used in the quotation, “communicating effectively” means bringing your message across successfully and increasing your influence to your stakeholders.

2. Connecting is all about others.

My communication professors thought me that communication is a dance of two–the failure of a party means the failure of both parties. However, when we talk about connecting, everything is all about the the one(s) we communicate or try to connect to. This notion is supported by Nabi Saleh of Gloria Jean’s:

We aren’t in the coffee business serving people; we’re in the people business serving coffee.

Maxwell presented a variety of ways on how to do it including the need and want to listen. Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People stated this as Habit 5: Seek first to understand then to be understood. Moreover, Maxwell said that listening is not enough–you need to be sincere when doing it as well as when communicating with other people. He argued that sincerity cannot be faked. If you fake it, it shows. Les Geblin, former National Salesman of the Year supported this claim:

You can’t make the other fellow important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody.

3. Connecting goes beyond words.

Maxwell said that there are three things people look for when we try to connect with them: Thought (something we know), Emotion (something we feel) and Action (something we do). These concepts are actually stated by Aristotle on On Rhetoric as Logos (Thought), Pathos (Emotion) and Ethos (Action). These Pillars of Public Speaking are also the pillars of Connecting. You can see the speech plan I made during my second year as a university student here.

4. Connecting always requires energy.

I remember watching an episode of Ghost Lab on Discovery Channel. The Ghost Hunters want to attract a ghost in a cocktail bar so they invited poetry readers. According to those hunters, poetry readers give out energy and supernatural entities are attracted to it. And yes, the same is true with connecting. Maxwell gave different ways on how to be energetic and how to give out energy. The one thing that made be interested is about humanizing your attempts at connecting–talking about personal failures:

If you want people to be impressed, you can talk about your successes, but if you want people to identify with you, it’s better to talk about failures.

5, Connecting is more skill than natural talent.

Maxwell argued that even introverts can connect effectively with other people though they would use more energy than how much extroverts consume. This theory supports his claim that connecting is more skill than natural talent. In order to sharpen this skill, Maxwell suggested to build on the following: Relationships (who you know), Insights (what you know), Successes (what you have done) and Abilities (what you can do).

Connecting Practices

6. Connectors connect on common ground.

One communication theory argued that in order a communication activity to take place, there must be shared experiences or common knowledge. Of course, that remained a theory because we can communicate with anyone. However, a common ground can be built with anyone and is important for connectors.Moreover, Maxwell asserted that common ground is also a place where people can discuss differences. The concept of “common ground” is presented nicely by Epipheo Studios’ “How the Internet is Changing Advertising.” It is “a short history of communication and how the internet is a new medium that has thrown out the old rules of communication.”

7. Connectors do the difficult work of keeping it simple.

One of my college professors differentiated simple from bare.  Simplicity can engage because it has something–it has content amidst simplicity. Bare, on the other hand, looks simple by not having anything. Even Albert Einstein who contributed crazily complex scientific knowledge strives for simplicity by saying:

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it enough.

I try to explain complex ideas by telling analogies. This kind of technique is something I learned from being a varsity debater back in college. Through this, people can relate with what I say (with the analogous concept) even if they didn’t know or experience the complex concept I want to talk about. Even people who are not bottom-line thinkers want to know the bottom-line, Maxwell said.

In the end, people are persuaded not by what we say but what they understand.

8. Connectors create an experience everyone enjoys.

When I was debating for our university’s debate varsity, we often talk about “bad adjudicators”–no matter how good you are at debating, you will still emerge as a loser when you have a bad judge in your room. One of my seniors, Lee Yarcia, told us that our mindset should be this: “Even if the adjudicator is a bad one, you still need to emerge as the winning side.” Maxwell supports this mindset when he said that, in general, there are not bad audiences, only bad speakers. He said that we should take responsibility for our listeners. There are a variety of ways on how to do this like using humor, creating a sense of anticipation, creating common ground, interacting with the listeners and telling stories. The latter technique, telling stories, is supported by Jesus Christ (yes, Jesus Christ) when he said in the Gospel of Matthew:

If there is no readiness, any trace of receptivity soon disappears. That’s why I tell stories: to create readiness and to nudge people toward receptive insight.

9. Connectors inspire people.

Inspiring people can be done by having conviction, confidence, gratitude and passion. According to Maxwell, vision alone does not inspire change. It must be strengthened by passion. Moreover, he said that Action is the highest form of Inspiration. In order to put people into action, a connector must provide them with an action plan so they know what to do.

10. Connectors live what they communicate.

According to Maxwell, the first six months performance of a newly hired professional is dependent on his or her communication ability. In this period, communication ability overrides credibility. However, after six months, credibility will override communication ability. So, in order to gain credibility, professionals need to connect or to communicate effectively. Moreover, Maxwell argued that the relationships we have with others are largely determined by the relationships we have with ourselves. This kind of claim is supported by the Private Victory Habits of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Connecting with other people is a long-term endeavor. Maxwell said that “the true power of connecting with others does not come from the superficial interactions with others. It comes from connection with people long term.” Now I fully understand why my boss wants to jumpstart my connection with others. Not only with the other bosses but also with the people I handle–my sales agents. I remember him telling me that connecting with them can mean buckets of beer but if that’s the only way or if that’s the most effective way to connect with them then I should do it. He said that to me while we drink his favorite Scotch Whisky. Yes, I understood. And he was able to connect to me.

The weather just resorted itself to rebellion and made sure to ask for a surprisingly high-value ransom from humankind. It’s March and it’s raining and I can’t jog! Just recently, I renewed my running contract to self [...]]]>

The weather just resorted itself to rebellion and made sure to ask for a surprisingly high-value ransom from humankind. It’s March and it’s raining and I can’t jog! Just recently, I renewed my running contract to self since I am becoming a big boy. However, since the road to a slimmer figure is wet and slippery, I decided to have muscle-toning sessions in the comfort of my own room instead. The dumbells that I have been using are currently eaten by rust monsters. Fortunately, I bought some fitness gloves before and I am using them for the first time. It’s nice to shake the heavy hands of Curls again.

I decided to visit my Multiply site to reminisce the slimmer me. Then, I was outraged with the photos I saw. Tell me, I wasn’t This vain.

Vanity

No comment and don't ask for one

When I read the album description, I was actually asking people to choose a better haircut for me (long or short). Oh God, I need a gun and someone to shoot me right now. This is the perk of puberty, you actually feel you look really good and make use of that feeling to initiate a mating game. Of course, that wasn’t my primary intention. I’m happy that puberty will be over soon–I’m just waiting for my armpit hair to grow.

Crackers

Yes, I was that slim before but I grew outrageously bigger as if it’s beyond my control. Maybe it’s because of too much stress translated into eating habits. The stockpile of snacks here at home (and at my condo before) consists mostly of high sugar goodies and I eat several servings at ungodly hours where I need to perform like a god. Voila, a buffier figure for me. Well, my friends actually tell me that I look better. Some sculpting would make me Machete. NOT. Anyway, since my mom is too concerned about his big boy, she replaced Oreos with these:

SkyFlakes Oat Fiber and Flaxseed Crackers

Thank you SkyFlakes for making crackers like these and making me believe that I am actually having healthy eating habits. The Oat Fiber Crackers provide 4 grams of Fiber per serving (yes, I copied it) and the Flaxseed Crackers provide Omega 3 which has a long list of benefits according to Wikipedia. Haha. Good bye, Oreos. Your black beauty taste will always be sexier than these two freckled white chicks.

Pepper

Since we’re talking about food and diet here, I am currently addicted to this condiment:

This is Club House’s Roasted Garlic and Peppers. All of my breakfast, lunch and dinner plates are covered with these flakes. Well, not really covered–but my exaggeration is quite consistent with the quantity of flakes I place on my food. They say that Capsaicin (the compound that makes pepper hot) is a good aphrodisiac. Oh well, three times a day isn’t bad. Hah!

Oh no, these bits of heavenly hell will be depleted in no time–and I don’t know where to buy a new one. This is just given to me by my aunt (who currently lives in Canada) when she went here for a vacation. I am destined to be hot and it starts with a taste for hotness. Yes, please believe me. Thanks.

Each episode of The Triumvirate Series is a collection of three random yet significant things that either recently took my attention or deserve to be shared to the intrested public. This is my own, novel way of writing a journal, breaking the ice and breathing fresh air here at my online abode. You can read the original rationale here or the renewed version here.

Self Improvement might be the cheesiest topic about career and leadership but no one can really talk about “general happiness” or “life in general” without stepping on this platitude. Being listed on the Grand List of Clichés,  Self Improvement is [...]]]>

Self Improvement might be the cheesiest topic about career and leadership but no one can really talk about “general happiness” or “life in general” without stepping on this platitude. Being listed on the Grand List of Clichés,  Self Improvement is either taken for granted or overlooked as a default human experience. I recently received a book from a colleague before leaving my first area of assignment. The book is John Maxwell’s Self-Improvement 101. This book is a part of Maxwell’s “What Every Leader Needs to Know” series. I’ll be sharing my insights and/or reflections about this book because I promised to do so. Haha. Well, I actually want to have a  ”public self reflection” and to be an “inspiration”–if applicable, LOL.

Don't worry, I'll practice what I preach. Hah.

The book is divided into two parts. The first one tackles about the foundations of Self-Improvement and the second one talks about the process of Improvement.

Part 1: Laying a Foundation for Self Improvement

Requirements. Like maturity, Self Improvement is a choice. As the book contends, no one grows by accident. The intention and willingness to pay the price should be there. I have the intention to “improve” ever since but, sometimes, I do not really want to pay the price. Intention is just a one-liner thought but putting it into action takes more than a line to do. Moreover, Maxwell argued about Initiative and a Now Factor. You can delay initiative and you can delay paying the price–but those things actually manifest the choice not to improve. Wow, the word “now” is scarier now. Oh Time, you affect everything. Lastly, a Plan should be present. Some people boast about “success amidst planlessness.” Even though these people might not be as organized as me, I believe that they have planned something (how little or how short term it is) that eventually lead to success. By the way, this part is highly related to Covey’s Private Victory Habits.

Career Growth. Maxwell narrated a short story about a Bull and a Turkey.

A turkey was chatting with a bull. ”I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey. ”But I just haven’t got the energy.”

“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. ”They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a week, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

In every role we have in life, whether in our personal or career life, we are entitled to “unwritten privileges” which are, more likely, against a principle present in the context where we play a specific role. I have been seeing many of those privileges. I admit, once in my life, I used one to take an advantage or to simply satisfy myself. Bull Shit is scattered everywhere. It’s Bull Shit, but come on, many want to taste it. Still, it’s Bull Shit for Bull Shit’s sake.

Because I’m talking about Bull Shit and telling you not to taste some (because it’s plan Bull Shit), I need to practice it myself. I learned a craft and talked about it. It’s about time to practice it. Learn. Talk. Practice. Yeah.

Teachable Attitude. The first thing we need to know about teachability is knowing how to be interested and how to listen [emphatically]. This is actually Habit 5 of the 7 Habits. The primary hindrance for listening is pride and the immediate desire to react. If you’re not interested, then don’t listen at all. I asked myself: How do I force myself to be interested? This question is crucial for listening since interest is a prerequisite. I found out that I don’t have to force myself because I need to choose the things (Maxwell called them “Teachable Moments”) I need to listen to (see Focus of Time and Energy on Part 2).

Role of Others. Although Self-Improvement is tagged with the term “Self”, the role of others is still highly significant. Before you can learn from someone, you need to remove arrogance and value the people around you. You can learn something from anyone because, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I have never met a man who was not my superior in any particular.” Asking questions and choosing the right mentors (Maxwell elaborated the standards of a good mentor) maximize the role of others for self improvement.

Part 2: The Ongoing Process of Improvement

Focus of Time and Energy. This simply says that in order to improve effectively and efficiently, we need to focus our time and energy to our strengths and things that interest us (our passion, perhaps). This part is related to Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence principle:

Circle of Influence

We have many things that we care about (Circle of Concern), but for some reason, we cannot address the problems or concerns brought by them. So, we need to focus ourselves to the things that we can do something about (Circle of Influence). We should not worry because, as Covey argued, focusing on the Circle of Influence would make it larger to the extent that it is roughly as the same size with our Circle of Concern.

Obstacles. When we are in the process of improving ourselves, just like any kind of process, obstacles are on the way to inhibit our progress or to prevent us from getting there. However, Maxwell said that adversities have many benefits.These include: development of maturity, creation of resilience and prompting of innovation. For me, creativity will be a great help to see obstacles in a new light. The Right Brain!

Role of Experience. Experience cannot make sense unless we examine ourselves after garnering sone (i.e. self-reflection or self-examination). Some people boast about “extensive experiences” but these don’t make sense unless we emphasize the improvement or progress we got through those experiences. Moreover, Maxwell argued that getting an experience is costly but the lack of it is costlier.

Giving up. No, I won’t talk about giving up self-improvement. I’ll talk about giving up something for self improvement instead. When I was assigned in a land far away, I gave up may things: being physically together with my family and friends, being a Manila Boy and, of course, being dependent. All of those things paid off–really. Here are some things we can trade for better things:

Of course, this is not a barter. You can’t trade security for significance right away. All of these pairs have big spaces in between. Moreover, obstacles and risks will always be on those spaces. For me, the end goal is not just the sole manifestation of growth. Choosing to trade something and becoming willing to take the challenge is already a growth potential in itself.

The book is very general and very basic. With this, it is up to the reader to contextualize the whole book in a specific role he or she plays in her life. Moreover, I suggest that further reading about improvement in a specific role should be done in order to gain specialized knowledge.

Business Books Update

1. Recently finished: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
2. Reading: Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by John Maxwell
3. Will read next: Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki