• http://twitter.com/jmreyes816 JM Reyes

    Your Holiness The Dalai Alpa,

    It is a pleasure to drop by your cyber crib after some time. I can see that your literary machinery hasn’t rusted not even a speck. And so here are some of my thoughts.

    Emotional nudity is something that any tough guy really finds hard to disclose. It is a matter between being true to yourself and to others while making sure your credibility and integrity is not dented. As a writer by profession (a news writer, though), juggling convictions and self image is a very tough act to perform. You write not just because you want to inform, but you want something to happpen too. And in that process, emotions can sometimes get tangled with professionalism. Hence, hidden agendas form. But credibility aside, walking through people’s emotions in the nude is a healthy way of venting out your thoughts before it becomes a ticking time bomb.

    It is said that God is our life’s director, producer, and writer but each life only has a lone actor. Our scripts have several back-ups, we pick one of those depending on the decisions we make. And so it is a must that we learn how to manage our decision-making skills. You do this thing now, this is what you get tomorrow. You did this thing yesterday, so here’s what you have now, take it or leave it.

    The shoulda-woulda-couldas struck a raw nerve in me. Last Holy Week, I reflected on those things I now have regretted not having done. We’re not getting any younger. It may not be too late to do that unfulfilled business, but wouldn’t it be better if we had done it when we were much younger? I regret not mustering the courage and confidence that I needed when I was dreaming of singing in a chorale. Now that I’m out of university, I don’t have the luxury of time to do such a thing. Yeah, I can go back to school again if I want to, but I think it would’ve been better if I was still a teenager, basking in my youthful glow.

    How to manage that pain? Just accept that what’s done is done, what’s happened has happened. Nangyari na ang nangyari. Tapos na ‘yun. Moving on follows acceptance. Because if you’re still bargaining for that spilled milk, you can’t move on at all. Just get the mop and do the cleaning. There’s still lots of milk in the carton. You can use it to refill your half-empty glass. You can make that dull beverage even better if you add chocolate or strawberry syrup, or have it poured in the blender with ice and chopped fruits.

    I don’t think unnecessary mourning is unnecessary at all. Even if you were just a stranger passing by who just happened to witness a creamy murder, we all share a collective kind of grief and sympathy for dreams and plans that were never realized. Is that milk even ours to think about? It was ours. Only if we grabbed the glass and gulped down its contents. But we didn’t. And instead it was tripped over by an unseen assailant and now we are left grieving for a crime we actually committed in the first place. That crime is called hesitation.

    Love letters, ah, I can smell teen spirit. The last time I received one was when I was 16. The letters that followed after that were now coming from the workplace. I have a small repository for those hand-written, personalized, and overflowing with madness correspondences. I even keep some letters that were exchanged between a guy friend of mine and the girl that dumped him. Some were in Johnny Bravo envelopes, while some were carefully folded into mini t-shirts.

    Beauty king titles… I wonder how you were like during the swimsuit competitions. I bet you’re already comfortable doing that.

    Every teenage boy’s deepest secret: a stash of porn. You were lucky your parents didn’t saw those hormone-packed contrabands. Mine were busted. But my folks didn’t say a word about it. I’m 22 as well, but I still feel awkward having my parents know that I know what they know. In other words, the private browsing button is an indispensible tool.

    And like that chopsuey, you have all the broccoli on earth to munch since many kids don’t like it anyway and make use of all those calcium your body is taking up. Options are as varied as that colorful meal.

    We all have rebel arteries but not everyone’s using it. It’s up to you when you’ll activate yours. We all have that drive to go against the norms, succeed, prosper, without doing any ill on anyone. Go ahead, charge it up, and seize the day.

    Your unofficial conscience,

    • http://www.alpsaguado.com Alfred Miguel Aguado

      Wow, JM, your comment is as long as my blog entry. Haha. But thanks man, for reading its entirety. Oh no, how do I start. Hmm, as of today, I believe I am recovering well. I’m the type of person who chooses to solve personal problems by himself. Although it is hard to not follow a friends-centric model of problem solving when it comes to a personal, emotional problem, I believe my set-up makes me a stronger person. At the end of the day, all you really have is yourself. And, of course, Him. Soo, I’m not really alone. :)

  • Anonymous

    Woah… Anyway it’s interestung that you still keep those things. It’s really nice to go back to them once in a while. From those things, we realize how much we’ve grown. I hope you’re ok alps. :)

  • http://hoshilandia.com Hitokirihoshi

    ni-like ko na lang yung comment ni Rowjie. same kami ng sentimient. hehe

    kakatuwa lang tlaga yung ganyan na palatago ng mga letters and other memorable items. at same din tayo ng ginagawa. pampasaya yan sa akin yan minsan .

    • http://www.alpsaguado.com Alfred Miguel Aguado

      Yeap. Pampasaya and you can just pull an inspiration from it anytime. :)

  • Sarahviii

    Hey alps i had one of those stationaries from your love letters picture haha (the green one). Anyway, this post was so cute and honest of you :)

    • http://www.alpsaguado.com Alfred Miguel Aguado

      Haha. That was given to me by a good friend. Yey, so cute of me. LOL. Good luck sa job(-hunting), Sarah! :)

  • Ishmael Ahab

    Same here. Marami rin akong tinago sa aking memory box. Meron pa nga akong diary dati eh. Ano ba yang spilled milk na ‘yan? Parang mysterious iho.

    • http://www.alpsaguado.com Alfred Miguel Aguado

      Sinadya ko maging mysterious. Hehe. ;)

  • http://extraordinarykiddo.com Bryan Karl

    Natuwa ako sa tag na Porn. LOL Anyways, ang sarap ng chop seuy, pwede humingi? I know late na tong comment ko but still, pahingi hahaha. 

    Anyways, next post mo na dapat is about winning Bikini Open. Expect ko yan. =))

    Anyways again, I love the way you open up your emotions to the blog. It’s rather unique and mind-stimulating hehe. And heart din. I can relate with the feelings, quoting you, Why am I crying over spilled milk that was never mine, is not mine and, more likely, will never be mine?. But I can’t relate with the love letters because I’m torpe like that hahaha.

    Natuwa ako kasi 1 month late ang comment ko. I don’t care basta magcocomment ako. Minsan lang ako nakakapagbloghop e. :)) Anyways, good luck sa life Alps. :D Expect mo I’ll be commenting on your next posts kasi… mag-ssubscribe by email na ako sa blog mo hahaha. 

    • http://www.alpsaguado.com Alfred Miguel Aguado

      Haha, thanks for reading! Actually, it’s hard for me to open up here since I brand my blog as a “semi-professional” blog. LOL. But my emotions are nagging me to write, write, write!

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